


Touch

by Telaryn



Series: The Tale of Eliot Spencer and Ellen Harvelle [17]
Category: Leverage, Supernatural
Genre: Drunk Sex, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Sex, Stranger Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2012-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-23 19:20:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/625668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telaryn/pseuds/Telaryn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trying to move on with her life, Ellen looks for ways to fill the holes in her life left by Eliot's departure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=angst_bingo)[](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=angst_bingo)**angst_bingo** 's Round 3, for the prompt "craving".

Too much cheap whiskey – it was almost poetic in a dark and pathetic kind of way. “Easy there, tiger,” Ellen murmured, shifting the stranger’s hands to her waist. “Let me get the door open.”

Her companion’s response was completely unintelligible, muffled by the fact that his face was virtually buried against the spot where her neck curved into her shoulder. _Classy,_ Ellen thought, smirking at herself as she finally managed to work the ancient lock.

He had her up against the nearest wall as soon as they were through the door, kicking it shut and kissing her fiercely. His hands slid under her shirt, skimming across her stomach; his thumbs brushed across her nipples through the fabric of her bra. Ellen twined her arms around his neck, largely letting him do what he wanted. He was talented enough in the ways of men and women, and his hands on her body were easing something deep inside her that she’d only recently realized was becoming a problem.

 _Touch._ When Eliot Spencer had moved on out of her life, Ellen had resigned herself to living without the warmth and comfort of his presence, and the daily challenges he presented her – intellectual as well as emotional. She _hadn’t_ counted on the idea that losing physical contact with him would be what carried the highest cost. She’d been able to ignore the stirrings at first, but eventually there were days her skin literally ached for the feel of a man’s arms around her.

Jo hadn’t said anything the first night she’d picked up a likely looking candidate. Ellen was grateful – Jo had liked Eliot being in their lives, and she’d made it perfectly clear that she didn’t accept Ellen’s reasons for letting him go. Bachelor #1 hadn’t stayed the entire night, but he’d managed to convince Ellen she was on to something.

“You like it on top or bottom?” her current one night stand asked. Ellen realized with a start that he’d gotten her shirt off and her jeans unbuttoned while she’d been lost in thought.

 _Not good._ “Whatever you want,” she answered, smiling at him and letting him lead her to the bed. The one thing every one of these men had going for them was that they weren’t Eliot Spencer. Unfortunately that seemed to be the one thing her brain needed anymore in order to shut up and focus completely on the sex.

They ended up agreeing to her on top, and once they got serious Ellen had no complaints at all about the sex. The kid was talented enough, and enthusiastic. Best of all, he maintained physical contact – stroking her thigh with his free hand as she rode him; his other hand busy between her legs, rubbing her clit until she came so hard she saw stars.

Later, as they were cleaning up, his voice was almost tentative when he said, “I guess you want me to go, huh?”

Ellen studied him for a long moment. “Only if you want to, honey,” she said finally. The look of surprised relief on his face made her feel about twenty years older than her actual age, but she was happy he wanted to stick around – at least for the rest of the night.

It was only later, once they’d settled down together and the room was dark, that Ellen finally felt safe enough to let her true feelings come close to the surface. She _did_ feel better having someone else in bed with her. Once he had her permission to stay, her one night stand spooned himself around her quite willingly, and the sound of his breathing in her ears was a gentle, soothing rhythm.

His presence eased her, but Ellen still couldn’t manage to quiet the rebellious part of her soul that resented the fact that the man at her back _wasn’t_ Eliot. _I didn’t want this,_ she thought for what felt like the millionth time since he’d gone. _I didn’t want to be this person._

Once upon a time, some lovesick fool had written “’Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” Ellen suspected it was part of the reason she’d gone against every good instinct she had letting Eliot become such a large part of her world. That, and the fact that on some level she hadn’t been able to imagine him _not_ being a part of her life.

The worst part was that she knew if she could have had it to do over, knowing now the price of not being able to keep him, Ellen suspected she would have behaved exactly the same.


End file.
